i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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