I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We need to rekindle our bromance
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Send help, water and tortillas.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
