sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
