Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
