i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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