I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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