Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
