Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
