Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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