And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
