I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Even my vagina gasped.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
