look no pants
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
