i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
