Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
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