What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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