idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
