I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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