NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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