I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
