call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
