So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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