it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
