And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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