She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
