Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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