Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize