If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
