What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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