I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
