Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
