Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
