wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
