It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
