come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
