What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
