If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
