then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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