Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize