Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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