I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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