Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Green mimosas i think yes
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
