Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
