SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
