Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
