Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
