my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
