Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
40s are totally the cure
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
