I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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