Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
