I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
